TJEd Forum Conference Notes: Teaching Kids to Work

Lara Gallagher from The Lazy Organizer was one of the presenters I heard on Saturday. Here are some of the points she made...

*If you don't teach your children to work, who will?*

A Breakdown of the Ages:

0-3 Mother's little helper: At this stage, children love to help (even if their 'help' is more like destruction)
2-4 1/2 Personal Chores: Children learn to get dressed, make bed, keep their rooms picked up. They need a lot of encouragement and help.
4 1/2-6 Family Jobs: Work side-by-side doing work that benefits the whole family.
6-8 Children do their own jobs with supervision.
8 and up Children can do any job an adult can do, and they can do it correctly.

-We need to value work more than play.
-When we clean up a child's mess, we are developing a characteristic of dependence in them.
-They can do a lot more than we think they can. Don't underestimate children.
-Read How to Talk so Kids Can Learn by Adele Faber.
-You stop the complaining by being consistent. If there is a lot of whining, increase the workload until things are in good order.


In our home, we have been working on these things the last couple weeks. To be honest, I don't think any homeschooling mom can do a good job of teaching and housekeeping herself. Everyone has to be involved. We are trying hard to clean up after ourselves and work together.

Here is the cleaning schedule we have been using...

Monday: Make Bread
Tuesday: Dust and Vacuum
Wednesday: Clean Bathrooms
Thursday: Mop
Friday: Run Errands

Laundry: Oh how I loathe thee. Let me count the ways.

Laundry is overwhelming to me. It is one of those mundane tasks that is absolutely-positively never-ever done. I'm still working on making the day-to-day tasks meaningful. I decided to make a pledge. Truly. I went up to My Bebe, raised my hand in the air, and said:

I swear to never let the laundry pile up again. I will fold it directly from the dryer every time.

Then I made him swear, too, that he'd never throw the laundry on the floor or the bed. This has turned into doing one load of laundry per day. I know that sounds kind of awful. Daily laundry. But you know what? It hasn't felt overwhelming anymore! This is a breakthrough for me! (Lame that I had to take 8 years to learn it when my mother has always done it this way.)

Family Work

I've been thinking a lot about Family Work ever since I read the following article.

Family Work by Kathleen Slaugh Bahr and Cheri A. Loveless

One part of the article that particularly stuck out to me talks about doing mundane chores together. It says...

"Ironically, it is the very things commonly disliked about family work that offer the greatest possibilities for nurturing close relationships and forging family ties. Some people dislike family work because, they say, it is mindless. Yet chores that can be done with a minimum of concentration leave our minds free to focus on one another as we work together. We can talk, sing, or tell stories as we work. Working side by side tends to dissolve feelings of hierarchy, making it easier for children to discuss topics of concern with their parents. Unlike play, which usually requires mental concentration as well as physical involvement, family work invites intimate conversation between parent and child."

I love this paragraph. It gives purpose to the chores that we must do over and over again. Laundry, dishes, vacuuming, bathrooms, cooking, etc. As long as we have to spend so much time doing these things, isn't it great that there can be a loftier goal behind them?

How many times have I decided to do the kids' chores because it is easier than nagging them about it? What a great idea to do all the jobs together, instead of splitting up chores.

Thinking back, I have so many great memories of cooking, folding clothes, and doing dishes with loved ones.

Have you noticed how much kids LOVE to help until you wreck it by demanding they do something? (Hmmm. Inspire, not require?)

What do you think about the concepts in Family Work? In what ways have you found working together valuable?