Bonds that Make Us Free by C. Terry Warner

Bonds That Make Us Free: Healing Our Relationships, Coming to OurselvesBook Review: Bonds that Make Us Free: Healing our Relationships, Coming to Ourselves by C. Terry Warner.

I'm not sure where to start with this book. It's about facing up to things. Being who you really are. Not making excuses, and just doing and being. It's about relationships, but it's less about relationships with others than it is about not deceiving ourselves.

Bonds that Make Us Free is insightful. It's a book that could probably help just about anybody, and for some, will be utterly life-changing.

A friend pointed out that this book is unique. Most psychiatrics, psychologists, sociologists will say that you are how you are because so-and-so did such-and-such to you. C. Terry Warner basically says, "Get over it. Act out of love. Choose now not to let other things effect you, and just be who you are supposed to be." Of course, that's some really lame paraphrasing.

Since I'm at such a loss for a good description, I'm going to step aside and let Amazon do the explaining.

Life can be sweet. Our relationships with friends, spouses, colleagues, and family members can be wonderfully rewarding. They can also bring heartache, frustration, anxiety, and anger. We all know the difference between times when we feel open, generous, and at ease with people versus times when we are guarded, defensive, and on edge.

Why do we get trapped in negative emotions when it's clear that life is so much fuller and richer when we are free of them?

Bonds That Make Us Free is a ground-breaking book that suggests the remedy for our troubling emotions by addressing their root causes. You'll learn how, in ways we scarcely suspect, we are responsible for feelings like anger, envy, and insecurity that we have blamed on others. (How many times have you said, "You're making me mad!")

Even though we fear to admit this, it is good news. If we produce these emotions, it falls within our power to stop them. But we have to understand our part in them far better than we do, and that is what this remarkable book teaches.

Because the key is seeing truthfully, the book itself is therapeutic. As you read and identify with the many true stories of people who have seen a transformation in their lives, you will find yourself reflecting with fresh honesty upon your relationships. This will bond you to others in love and respect and lift you out of the negative thoughts and feelings that have held you captive. You will feel your heart changing even as you read.

"It would not be accurate to describe this book as supplying the truths upon which we must build our lives," writes author C. Terry Warner. "Instead it shows how we can put ourselves in that receptive, honest, and discerning condition that will enable us, any of us, to find these truths on our own."

Finding these truths is the key to healing our relationships and coming to ourselves, and Bonds That Make Us Free starts us on that great journey.

So, I highly recommend this book if you want to improve the way you live, but you have to be willing to read a pretty long, heavy book first. :) Good luck.


  1. I love this book! It's worth the read.

  2. C. Terry Warner has revolutionized the way we see human relationships. Have you read The Anatomy of Peace or Leadership and Self-Deception by Arbinger (the group Warner started)? Or The Peacegiver by James Farrell? Farrell is part of the Arbinger group! The Peacegiver takes Warner's "way of being" and ties it to the atonement.